Post by Jo.-SGF- on Jan 29, 2006 13:52:56 GMT -5
Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"offered by an
English professor from the University of Phoenix:
The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called
the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person
sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first
paragraph of a short story.You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another
copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will
then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has
been written each time in order to keep the story coherent.
There is be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails, and anything you wish to say
must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.
THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used
to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who
once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs,
keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about
him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over
Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed
asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.
"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit
established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle
beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The
jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang
of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon
afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of
Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and
bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had
passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her
from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.. "Why must one
lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above
the city, the Anu'udrian mother ship launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The
dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty
through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires
who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage
of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to
pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan.
The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-
secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million
other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow
this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent,
chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary
equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F---ING
TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"
(Rebecca)
asshole.
(Gary)
bitch
(Rebecca)
F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!
(Gary)
Go drink some tea. whore.
(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one.
English professor from the University of Phoenix:
The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called
the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person
sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first
paragraph of a short story.You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another
copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will
then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has
been written each time in order to keep the story coherent.
There is be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails, and anything you wish to say
must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.
THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used
to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who
once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs,
keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about
him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over
Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed
asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.
"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit
established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle
beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The
jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang
of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon
afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of
Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and
bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had
passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her
from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.. "Why must one
lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above
the city, the Anu'udrian mother ship launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The
dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty
through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires
who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage
of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to
pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan.
The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-
secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million
other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow
this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent,
chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary
equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F---ING
TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"
(Rebecca)
asshole.
(Gary)
bitch
(Rebecca)
F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!
(Gary)
Go drink some tea. whore.
(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one.
...after all, they did reach a conclusion..... 